Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Be Still: A Journey to Hope

I have several people that I love lots and lots going through really hard things right now.
One in particular unexpectedly lost a child during the holidays.
Her tragic loss, coupled with the struggles and hardships of others I love,
prompted me to wax spiritual again and I'd like to share some of my thoughts
with you today.
On New Year's Eve I was driving home from Utah.
We got a call just outside of Primm, Nevada from my father-in-law
telling us that a young friend of ours suddenly passed away early that morning.
I was the driver at the time and my husband took the call.
As I heard his side of the conversation and slowly realized who
they were talking about, I started to feel sick to my stomach.
When my husband got off the phone and said the words I was dreading,
I just started sobbing.

I wanted to scream, 
"WHY?! What purpose was served in taking her so young?!"
I was mad, I was hurt, my heart ached for her mother and family.
I started running through scenarios in my head
 about losing  one of my kids at such a young age - she was 22 years old.
And I cried some more.

I think that at times like these - as mortal beings - we always want to know why.
Why did she die?
Why did Heavenly Father take her so young?
Why are we left behind?
And most of the time there are not answers to those WHYs in this life.

But driving from Primm to Barstow - with long spans of open highway,
was like emotional therapy for me.
I silently prayed.
I prayed for peace for the devastated family and friends that she left behind.
I prayed for peace for my own heart and mind.
I prayed to be satisfied with not having all the answers to the WHYs.
 I just prayed.

I am definitely guilty of trying to tell the Lord how things should go.
To demand answers. 
To give Him my plan without asking what His plan is for me.
I'm a saucy, Type A, "I know best", personality after all.

One of my favorite quotes comes from Neal A. Maxwell,
"Strange, isn't it - we who wear wristwatches seek to counsel
Him who oversees cosmic clocks and calendars."
I am totally guilty of trying to give counsel to Heavenly Father.
It never turns out well.

Each time I try that with Heavenly Father, 
He humbles me through various means and reminds me that -
He is in the details.
He knows.
He loves me.
He has a plan for me if I will but turn myself over to Him.
When I listen and remember,
my soul breathes a huge sigh of relief
in being able to be back in harmony with the Lord and His will.

This process all took place on the stretch of highway between Primm and Barstow.
I let go of the despair, the anguish, the anger, the pain.
I remembered that He is in the details.
I remembered how blessed I was to have her in my life.
To know her. 
To have my life changed and lifted by her sweet spirit.
And I knew that Heavenly Father knew the answers to the WHYs
and that was sufficient.
And I realized she was home.
She was safe.
She was whole.
She was back in His loving arms.
That knowledge dissipated my WHYs and gave me hope.

"The love of the Son of God
pierces ALL darkness,
softens ALL sorrow,
gladdens EVERY heart."
~Dieter F. Uchtdorf

I made the above printable to share with you.
I'm going to print it and hang it in my bedroom.
Sometime being still is all it takes to know.



Jaime said...

Beautiful. XOXO

Lorri said...

Thank you for sharing your experience. I just traveled from Utah to Seattle by plane to attend my mother's funeral. Grief is a difficult process to go through, but with the love of our Heavenly Father and his Son I believe we can and will get through it. My prayers to you and this young woman's family. She, and my mom, are truly in a better, peaceful, loving place.

Anonymous said...

This is very thoughtful and lovely. I'm sorry for your loss, Kyla.

Darren and Natalie said...

Hugs to you, my beautiful friend! Thank you for your heartfelt post--it was just what I needed to hear. Love!

Darren and Natalie said...

Hugs to you, my beautiful friend! Thank you for your heartfelt post--it was just what I needed to hear. Love!

Bible Fun For Kids said...

Great article! Things are hard to understand sometimes. Pinned the poster... love it!

Tonii said...

Thank you so much for sharing this beautiful printable! Over the holidays my dear sister lost her twin babies at 23 weeks after only living a few hours. They had gone through 3 rounds of invitro to get these precious babes and it threw our entire family for a loop. I have come to find the same peace you have and I LOVE this printable...going up in my house ASAP! Thanks again!!


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